IN
HER
SHO
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Lana

After returning home, Kai is always near me, saying he wants to be close to me, but he only touches me in a way that means he wants sex. I keep thinking about how he hurt me – the refuge worker told me it was rape, but I don’t want to believe that.

I hate him touching me, but know if I don’t, he’ll be angry and demanding and may hurt me again.

One day Kai sees me pull away from him when he touches me. He asks me what’s wrong. I try to explain that I’m still struggling after what happened and I just need a little more time. Kai gets angry and accuses me of “bringing up the past” and “trying to make him feel bad”.

Kai says I’m making excuses and calls me a frigid bitch, before slapping me across the face. Things escalate quickly and Kai throws things at me as he storms down the hall to the bedroom. He’s furious; a glass barely misses me, but a shoe hits my face and makes my nose bleed.

I begin to shake and cry. I’m scared – if I don’t get away, he may kill me.